Tip number four:
Learn your wife’s love language.
There are five love languages.
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Everyone has a different way of expressing and receiving love. We usually learn our language from watching our parents show love to each other. This could be considered our native language. Learning a different language later on in life doesn’t come easy, but we can with some work. In a marriage, you will most likely have a different love language than your spouse. When you try to communicate your primary or native love language with your spouse, and they don’t understand what we’re communicating, we can become confused or frustrated It’s like speaking a different language, literally. If you spoke only English and your wife spoke only French, you would have to learn each other’s languages to communicate. Once you learn each other’s love language, you can communicate and have a happy long lasting marriage.
You can determine your love language through many different Love Language Surveys online.
Or, click the link below and buy a book!
I’ll explain the five languages briefly and you may be able to determine yours and your spouse’s easily.
Words of Affirmation
This is the verbal love language. Words of kindness and encouragement are key. Someone with this love language needs to be affirmed in your love for them. They need to hear you tell them you love them, and why. They need your encouragement and verbal support daily. Now this can be very easy, depending on your wife. Maybe all she needs is an ” I Love You ” once a day. Or a compliment every morning before she heads out for work, which could carry her through the whole day. Actions do not speak louder then words for someone with this love language.
Acts of Service
Now this love language is the opposite. Actions do speak louder than words. Your wife wants to be shown how much you love her. Completing the honey-do list is huge here. If your wife has this type of love language, show her you love her by helping out around the house and lessening her burden.
Now if your wife has this love language, husbands, don’t fret. The receiving gifts love language does not mean the more money you spend on your wife the happier she will be. Don’t mistake it for materialism. The receiver of gifts thrives off of the thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift. It could be expensive, it could be homemade or even free. It’s the thought that counts for this love language. A gift is something tangible in your wife’s hand that shows her you thought of her enough to take the time to buy/make it for her. If your wife has this love language, try to keep track of things she likes or wants. Buying or making her something, for no reason, besides to show your love, can go a long way for this type of woman. Learning how to become a gift giver is one of the easier languages to learn, and you’ll feel great giving her gifts, knowing how much it means to her.
This love language is pretty straightforward. Your wife just wants to be around you! And she wants to feel like you want to be around her too. If this seems to be a problem in your marriage, set a time aside every week that is special for you. Now there may be different levels to this love language. Your wife may just want to be around you in general, no matter what you’re doing together. Or, sitting on the couch watching a movie together may not be enough. She may need devoted one on one time. Maybe going out for a walk, or just sitting on the couch talking to each other. If this is your wife’s love language, figure out what she wants or needs from you so you can effectively communicate your love.
This one is hands on. A hug here, a kiss there. Cuddling up together on the couch during a movie. You need to show your wife that you are there. If you don’t share this language, it can be one of the harder ones to learn. If your wife has this love language, ask her what sort of physical touch she needs and do your best to give it to her. Maybe you’ll find it’s less than you think.
Once you think you have determined your wife’s love language, sit down with her and see if you’re right. Tell her what your love language is and ask each other what you need to feel loved, according to your language. Work hard at showing your wife love the way she needs it you’ll find you will be communicating better than ever.